We were being watched. From both sides of
the narrow country lane, seas of wide-faced
sunflowers lined up to peer at us as we wove
our way through the French countryside. They
felt like friends, or maybe long-lost sisters,
standing by the road, waiting for us, row after
row of them, their bright yellow permeating
the horizon.
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Visiting
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They seemed to beckon to us,
call to us. Finally we had to stop and meet
them. "Ohh," shouted
Heather, my 19-year-old daughter, as she ran
into their midst. Leaves rustled, heads turned.
They welcomed her, swaying slightly, whispering
to each other. Their vibrant energy matched
Heather's youthful enthusiasm.
Time stopped as I watched Heather, her arms
outstretched in joy. I celebrated the magic
of this moment. As she stood in this field,
along the road from Bordeaux to Auch, I thought
about the month-long tour of France we were
sharing. We had dreamed about this journey
together since she was 14.
Our trip had become a reality. As a freelance
journalist, I was researching Thalassotherapy
Spas, French Health Spas that use sea water
and sea products to improve health and reduce
stress. I had also arranged to visit unique
and historical hotels and chateaux, the Hotel
de Crillon in Paris, the Relais de Margaux
near Bordeaux, and the Hotel de France in Auch.
It seemed like a perfect fit for Heather to
accompany me and share the fun and adventure.
Now, near the end of our journey, we were
not the same mother and daughter who had landed
in Paris a few weeks before. Our relationship
felt more alive and fresh now, like these sunflowers.
In the adventure of exploring France together,
we had also rediscovered each other as friends.
But it wasn't all roses at first. I remembered
our first days on the road.
"How much farther 'till we get there?" Heather
groaned as she attempted to stretch her right
leg out the front window of our miniature rental
car. "I'm all cramped up. Can't we stop?" she
winced, as we whizzed by Le Mans en route from
Paris to Brest.
I desperately glanced at the map on my knee.
We had been driving for hours and we were only
halfway to our destination. When I'd planned
this trip, everyone told me France was the
size of Texas. I'd never been to Texas, but
it was beginning to dawn on me that it was
a lot bigger than I had realized.
As Heather wiggled and squirmed, her favorite
American music blasted from the tape player
in our car. Smashing Pumpkins -- or maybe it
was Toad the Wet Sprocket; I never could get
those groups straight --boomed out as we sped
toward the Atlantic coast from Paris.
"Heather, could you please turn the music
down? I can't think and my ears hurt when it
is so loud," I said. She complied, but
shot me an exasperated look.
Lost Along the Way
We were lost. The French road signs didn't
match the roads on my maps. I had stopped at
a gas station to ask directions, but the rapid-fire
French response went right over my head, so
we were even more lost than before.
We were about to enter another roundabout,
a European invention in which the road suddenly,
without warning, spat us out into a circle,
the different destinations spreading outward
like the rays of the sun. My hands gripped
the steering wheel as we drove around and around
until I finally chose one exit and hoped for
the best.
We had to do something fast. We'd planned,
saved, dreamed about sharing this special time.
We had high hopes of fun and relaxation together.
I wasn't willing for our dream to become a
nightmare.
That night, we had a talk. I agreed, at Heather's
suggestion, to revamp the itinerary to allow
for shorter drives. For example, I arranged
for us to fly one 12-hour leg from nice to
Nantes, picking up another rental car in Nantes.
The next morning, we began again.
Heather was right. I, too, relished the more
relaxed pace with less time in the car. If
we had to drive more than a few hours and she
got antsy, we stopped on one of the well-maintained
parks marked "P" on the larger roads.
These offered natural beauty, picnic tables
and playgrounds.
We'd sit on the grass with our picnic of cheese,
bread, and fruit, smiling at the French families
all around us. In the north, many of the parks
bordered forests and before lunch we'd jog
around the perimeter, soaking in the quiet
of the trees, birds, and creeks meandering
by.
In the southern areas, we enjoyed drier terrain,
making sure we had plenty of water along to
cool us from the heat. I will always remember
one such stop near Talouse. The ever-present
sunflowers stood at attention and winked at
us as we sailed through the air on a giant
teeter-totter, laughing so hard we almost fell
off.
Along the way, we compromised. Heather agreed
to turn the music down, especially when we
were lost; that helped a lot. I began to appreciate
the sounds that had before been just loud noise.
She taught me the words to her favorite songs.
As we sped across France together, the car
windows rolled down to beat the heat, the wind
carried our blended voices over the rolling
farms of Normandy, our through the lavender
fields of Provence, into the sunsets of the
Mediterranean.
We agreed to face the challenges of the map
and the roundabouts together, she navigating
while I drove. When we got to a roundabout
and weren't sure which direction to go, we
would yell, "Whee" as we drove around
and around until we chose.
To accommodate her high energy level, we jogged
through some of our sightseeing. As I remember
the Jardin de Luxembourg in Paris, and the
vineyards near the Relais de Margaux near Bordeaux,
I see us trotting along, me gasping a bit to
keep up with Heather. Other days she would
take long walks with me, sometimes indulging
in French vanilla ice-cream as we strolled
along the Seine or the Mediterranean.
We also cried together. The sheep dotted the
hillside as we hiked the rugged cliffs of Brittany,
the fresh sea air on our faces. Suddenly, Heather
burst into tears and poured out her fears:
What should she do with her life? What should
she be? How would it all turn out?
Maybe it was because we were thousands of
miles from home together, but my words of reassurance
sounded stronger, truer, calming her down.
I told her how proud I was of her for tackling
French, for working hard in college, for looking
for the answers in life. We stood on the edge
of the Atlantic and hugged. She felt better.
Then Heather comforted me.
I cried as we stood in the American cemetery
above Omaha Beach and remembered my father
and his stories of the Normandy Invasion so
many years ago. She was there for me with a
hug.
I felt better.
Together, we faced the vulnerability of speaking
French, the willingness to make mistakes and
look silly.
But we also shared the excitement of actually
communicating in another language. The day
Heather brought fruit at an open market in
Pornichet and successfully negotiated the price
and the money all by herself, we both felt
proud.
After placing an ad in the Normandy paper,
we located the French orphan, Gilbert Desclos,
whom my father had taken under his wing during
the Normandy Invasion and whom he had tried
unsuccessfully to adopt.
We both cried at the touching reunion with
this man who remembered my father with such
love and had been waiting over 50 years to
hear from him.
Feeling Sick for Home
One night, about halfway through the trip,
we were both grumpy as we sat in our hotel
room in Porchinet. Suddenly, I realized we
were homesick.
The discovery of our mutual affliction resulted
in a heart-to-heart talk that lasted into the
wee hours and covered life, love, and relationships.
The homesickness dissolved in the closeness
and laughter.
Just as I learned to appreciate Heather's
music, she wanted to learn the words to some
old favorites sung at a jazz brunch at Relais
de Margaux, near Bordeaux, "All the Way," "When
I Fall in Love," "The Girl from Ipenema." Even
though I couldn't seem to get the names of
her favorite groups straight, she learned that
I had known the named and words to the popular
songs of my youth. As we headed toward Auch,
we took turns singing old and new songs.
Having Heather with me allowed me to see France
through her youthful eyes. When we dined at
the gourmet two-star restaurant at the Hotel
de France in Auch, we had to take a picture
of Heather's delight at her desert that consisted
of more than six different mounds of delectable
chocolate creations.
We relished the pampering of the French spas
and their relaxing treatments.
I had arranged for us to visit the Rive Bella
Spa on the Normandy coast, several spas in
Porchinet, and La Baule along the Atlantic,
and the Thalazur Spa in Antibes, in Provence,
along the Mediterranean.
Unlike American spas, where the emphasis is
on exercise classes and low-calorie food, these
spas promote rest and relaxation and the curative
effects of the sea climate, air, and water.
There were no up-at-dawn-to-hike-up-a-mountain
pastimes.
After a sumptuous buffet breakfast about 9am,
at 10 we shuffled off in our rubber slippers
and thick terry robes to indulge in our warm
sea-water treatments. Afternoons were spent
resting, lying in the sun, swimming, soaking,
or using the sauna or steam bath.
Heather and I not only got over our jetlag,
but also soaked away the pre-trip stresses
of our busy lives.
By the end of our total stay of seven days
in various spas, we'd both lost weight, although
we weren't even trying, and I definitely felt
a surge of energy I hadn't felt since my teens.
Heather's comment was: "This is so cool,
Mom!"
Whether we sat covered from head to toe with
green seaweed or soaked in a bath bubbling
with a hundred tiny jets, the fun was magnified
by being there together. One day we were princesses
at the majestic Hotel de Crillon in Paris,
admiring the elaborate medieval tapestries
and crystal chandeliers. The next, at Mont
St. Michael, we slept in a tiny hotel room
barely larger than the bed. But it didn't matter.
The continuous thread woven through our trip
was our relationship, the compromises and communication,
the laughter the magic, and the love.